THE TACTIC OF STAYING IN THE OFFENSE.

 I got into a disagreement with a friend of mine. There were some things i noticed in our interactions that were happening over a span of weeks and it would leave me frustrated and confused but a bit angry too. Earlier this week, we had another disagreement and I finally gained the courage to talk to my friend.  We did not seem to agree on a couple of things and could not properly articulate our feelings regarding the situation. I noticed before how uneasy I felt and how I kept going over and over every word and interaction we had. It was this crippling feeling of being stuck and overwhelmed by your emotions.I remember praying a lot and asking for help to love my friend though the emotions but all i felt was hurt, anger,and frustration until i heard  "It's not them it's you" and to be honest, I was just confused.

What did that even mean? I wondered what that even meant until the Holy Spirit revealed that it was never really about what they had done or how they hurt me. While these were just a reaction to the interactions we had the Holy Spirit allowed me to see that it was a ploy to keep me angry,  to keep me frustrated. It had not been with one person but with multiple people and then i realised it was the same storyline but with different characters and that blew my mind!!! The feelings i felt vanished just like that and peace set in. Ephesians 6: 12 says that "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."My Yes, my surrender, automatically put a target on my back that said "I've switched sides" "I don't play for this team anymore" and that did not sit right with the enemy. This is the same for you who are in Christ. So yes, you will face opposition for  the choice you made. 

Ephesians 4: 26- 27 says "If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you into sin and do not stay angry all day. Do not give the Devil a chance."

In this verse , it guarantees that we will get angry, it's all part of being human BUT what comes after that feeling of anger and how we address that emotion is what is important. It connects "staying angry all day " to "giving the devil a chance" because any unresolved feelings will most definitely lead to bitterness, resentment and even hostility. I noticed how because we had not brought these issues to each other as soon as we felt that way, bitterness set in. We need to realise that the enemy has a way of exploiting our emotions to cause division, hostility and brokenness in relationships and draw us further away from the will of God.

The Bible emphasizes love, reconciliation and we see that in Matthew 5:23-24: "So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift." God is saying leave me and fix what needs to be fixed then come back to me so how much more important is it for us to sit and talk even when it seems uncomfortable.

You see, the enemy loves to create division; in churches, homes, in relationships, because he knows that God values harmony and unity but because we forget that we are actively engaged in a war, we forget and think that the tough situations we go through are just that; "tough situations". This is not to say emotions are bad, no, on the other hand it shows that we are created in the image of God because God feels too.

So how do we address the matter of staying in offence?

• Well for starters, we need to be aware of it, we need to recognize that we are offended. You can only go to a doctor if you are aware you need help. So we can only go to God for help if we recognize we need help.
• The Bible talks about how God is near those who are discouraged [Psalms 34:18] so in that moment of hurt God was near me. I believe God draws near to us in those times such that we can depend and lean on Him so speak to Him, be honest about your feelings. God is not scared or surprised about your emotions, or feelings. He delights in us telling Him our worries rather than withholding them from Him because it no longer makes Him a bystander but you allow Him into your life.
• Pray and ask Him to heal your heart ; to see past the offence and and see that person as loved by God and to be able to love them as well. This is not easy at all mostly when you have the enemy whispering in your ear and reminding you over and over again about the offense. This is exactly why in moments like this we need to draw away from other voices and closer to the voice of God by listening and speaking what he has already said.
• Meditating on the scriptures. Find scriptures that speak about what you are experiencing and speak them over yourself. Remind yourself of them over and over until you believe them. That won't mean people won't frustrate you, no , but you will be better equipped when it happens.

Prayer

Heavenly Father, help me recognize areas in my life that I have allowed offense to stay in and grow into bitterness. Teach me to have healthy conflict and embrace reconciliation in all areas of my life and the lives of others around me. Help me lean on you and on your word when i feel hurt, unseen, angry but mostly to love those that hurt me as you love them and pray for them as well.

Thank you Jesus and in your name I pray. Amen.