AFTER THE OFFENSE. RECONCILIATION, RESTORATION OR BOTH.

Last month, we talked of how the enemy uses our normal reactions to situations to leave bitterness, anger, and resentment and how the enemy justifies these feelings to keep us in bondage. Our father has a love for us that is so deep that He desires reconciliation and we see that in the sacrificial death when Jesus laid His life down for us on the cross for our sins. I was reading the apocrypha [these are the hidden books of the bible that are not regarded by Bible scholars as part of the Bible due to doubtful authenticity] and one of the books included is the Book of Adam and Eve.  

In the book, it talks of what happened after they were both expelled from the garden of eden and how their "bright nature", their  spiritual sight was taken and how they mourned, as well as, lived their lives after. It talks of how depressed they were and how many times they tried to end their lives and how God in His great mercy revived them over and over again even after their disobedience. One day, both Adam and eve went looking for the gate of the garden of eden and the place they cried out  to the Lord was a high mountain. It said that Adam threw himself down the high mountain and shortly after Eve did the same. Their bodies were torn from the fall and once again God looked upon them with pity and sent Jesus to them and revived them.  After communing with the Lord, Adam then makes an altar for God and places some of the dust mixed with blood which had dripped from their wounds and placed that on the altar and cried out to God.

Then came the Word of God to Adam, and said to him, "O Adam, as you have shed your blood, so will I shed My own blood when I become flesh of your descendants; and as you died, O Adam, so also will I die. And as you built an altar, so also will I make for you an altar of the earth; and as you offered your blood on it, so also will I offer My blood on an altar on the earth.

 And as you sued for forgiveness through that blood, so also will I make My blood forgiveness of sins, and erase transgressions in it.

And now, behold, I have accepted your offering, O Adam, but the days of the covenant in which I have bound you are not fulfilled. When they are fulfilled, then will I bring you back into the garden.

Now, therefore, strengthen your heart; and when sorrow comes over you, make Me an offering, and I will be favorable to you."

John 3 :16-17 says "For God so loved the world so much that He gave His only son, so that everyone who believes in Him may not die but have eternal life. For God did not send His son into the world to be its judge, but to be its saviour." 

We see how a covenant was made because of the willingness of both sides. I think its is absolutely beautiful  how God made this plan over 5500 years before the coming of the Word of God ,who is Jesus revealed . I firmly believe that separation was not in the plan of God but he wanted Adam and Eve to understand the consequences of their actions but also see the love He had for them in bringing them back to Him after they had allowed themselves to be deceived and as a result were separated from God. 

I saw this article and i just thought it was so beautiful how it described willingness and it said,"Every journey begins with a step, and every step begins with willingness. It’s not just about physical action — willingness is the invisible spark, the subtle force that pushes us toward what could be. It’s a choice, a mindset, and often, the difference between a dream realized and a dream forgotten.But willingness isn’t always loud. Sometimes, it whispers softly, asking us to step out of our comfort zones, to try something new, to face fears that we’ve avoided for years. Let’s explore how this quiet power shapes our lives and how embracing it can lead us to extraordinary places."

Reconciliation is what happened on the cross. Our place was taken by the lamb of God who willingly laid down His life for us. To reconcile means you need to be aware of a brokenness but because some of us were unaware, He took our place and after His death an awareness was realised. See the thing is reconciliation requires two people and we see how Jesus partnered up with our heavenly father to do His will. Restoration is something that flows from the willingness and awareness of  reconciliation. It is deeper than a desire because restoration cannot exist without effort. A way to describe restoration is to be made complete or whole. God allowed me to see that you could be reconciled and not restored but you could never be restored without the understanding of the need for reconciliation. 

For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit.
 1 Peter 3:18 

In this verse, we see how through the death of Jesus and the blood that was shed for us, we were reconciled back to God. We were living in separation and away from God but through our faith that He died on the cross and he is the son of God we are saved. Now, the restoration part comes after the reconciliation. As i mentioned earlier, restoration is partnered with effort, let me explain. We can know that Jesus died on the cross for us and that he loves us, but if we do not make the choice to turn away from our sin and live a life that is pleasing to Him then it was all for nothing. This looks like Christians who are lukewarm or people that say they have accepted Christ in their lives but keep clinging to the shame that the Lord set them free from. 

 Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.
Luke 9:23 

Here Jesus is telling us how we can be restored or be made complete in Christ and this is through denying our flesh and choosing Him. It says whoever "wants" ; here we see the willingness again. Christ is calling us to action, to move, He shows how to be like Him and gain access to the things He has access to. We need to pick up our cross daily and follow Him. 

So now we have talked of the willingness we need to have after an offense whether it is to a friendship we wish to be restored or to our Lord and saviour, what action can we take? Again this is only for people that wish to be restored, not only to God but in friendships or relationships  with people who have hurt us or people we have hurt.

So, what action should we take?

• For starters, don't go to bed angry or ashamed. Don't waste time. Ask for forgiveness or talk to the person. I noticed in my past friendships the reason for our falling out was because we allowed time to pass before communicating. This allowed bitterness , resentment and pride to set in because i felt it was not my fault and so i was waiting for the other person to come to me. It wasn't a matter of who is wrong or right but what can we do to fix this. We see this in our relationship with God. We were in the wrong but he came to us to reconcile. In my relationstionship with the Lord, I noticed how when i slipped back into old habits, i tended to slowly step away from the Lord, it was subtle that sometimes i never noticed. I allowed the enemy to lie to me and tell me I'm not worthy to come into His presence and yet the Bible says that there is no condemnation for those in Christ. Don't give the enemy time or room to deceive you and allow the offense to take root. 
• Don't gossip. One thing i realised among the girls is where we feel the need to communicate our feelings  to everyone in the group regarding a painful situation. Ever heard the saying, "too many cooks spoil the broth"? Basically different people come with their own opinions and add to the problem instead of solving it. And then you're left with a lot of frustration and nothing has changed. Unless you are bringing it to the Lord or the person that wronged you, I don't think it is a conversation worth having. Again this is a personal opinion but i don't believe it does any good communicating it to your girls. Let Jesus be the one you go to cause you know He will most definitely help.
•  Girl read your Bible. Periodtttt.Throughout the Bible, God shows us how we should handle relationships with people and how we need to interact with people when they wrong us. Matthew 5 : 7 says , "Happy are those who are merciful to others. God will be merciful to them!" The reality is that through the Bible we are shown the Godly way to handle uncomfortable situations. Where the world says cut people off if they disturb your peace or if they do not offer you anything , the Bible says love your neighbour as you love yourself. You are able to properly steward a relationship if you have something to look to or if someone went through a similar situation and are able to learn how.
•  Pray about it. There is SO MUCH power in prayer my brother or sister in Christ! The Bible clearly talks about it when it says in Proverbs 18: 21 " The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat of its fruit." so clearly what you say holds weight and it can be used for both good and bad. Here we are mainly holding on to the good so pray over the relationship you wish to be restored. That you may truly see the value of the person, learn to love them in a way that brings glory to the Lord and truly be there for them in the way God desires you to BUT also pray to the Lord and ask if it is a relationship He desires for you to have. Asking the Lord for His opinion may seem small but this can be a stepping stone for God to be in the center of that relationship.

Again as the Holy Spirit did reveal to me, restoration is not always guaranteed and so sometimes you might have to let go of some people or some relationships for they might not be in the plan that the Lord has for you and that's ok. Don't hold on to one rose when God has a whole bouquet for you. 

Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank you so much that you partnered up with the Jesus to come down to our level and come into our world in such a humble way. That you loved us so much that you laid and sacrificed your life such that we would know and have a deep and personal relationship with God. Help me mirror how you loved , treated people and that i may see them as you see them and love them how you do Lord. I place this relationship in your hands Lord and ask that your will be done. I pray that if it is within your will for me to be restored to this person that you soften our hearts and help us heal properly. I pray that you will give me the willingness to continuously seek you , deny my flesh and that through you i will learn how to properly steward the relationships around me. Thank you Lord. In Jesus name, Amen.